Cheers to all us thieves!
Sunday Stealing: The Me Me Meme
1. Never in my life have I been: able to tell the French twins apart. Michelle is very cute. But so is MaBelle. It's really a toss-up. Plus for those of their huge legion of fans, they got top billing today.
2. The one person who can drive me nuts is: Judd Corizan. Let's face it. He's not all that talented. Most meme hosts actually have to write their own questions. Not Judd. He swipes the shit and then takes all the credit. He really gets on my nerves. He says if it weren't for him, no one would read my blog. I'd love to kick his ass. I mean in a virtual avatar sort of way.
3. High school was: a necessary evil.
4. When I’m nervous I: pour a fucking Smirnoff. Unless of course I am driving. Those are two things that do not go well together. You heard it here last.
5. The last song I listened to was: I Want to Hold Your Hand by Al Green. It's a fairly funky cover.
6. If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor: would have sex at the reception. I admit that it is a bit over the top. But it would be unique and of course I'd make sure that it was tastefully done.
7. My hair is: not in bad shape for a guy of my age and temperament.
8. When I was 5: got thrown out of kindergarten. Apparently asking a girl for a blowjob is frowned upon in that uptight school. How I was suppose to know that I was being inappropriate is anybody's guess.
9. Last Christmas: was in December. I love it when I share insight.
10. I should be: committed. If that isn't apparent by reading my incredibly self serving dribble, you should meet me in person. Although, would you mind calling first? I promised my neighbors wife that no one would ever know about us. In hindsight, I think not telling her that I write a blog was a good move.
11. When I look down I see: the top of her head. Sweetie, I'm writing here.
12. The happiest recent event was: my date last night. Although, is a date an "event"? And how long do you still call them dates? Gosh. That's a lot to think about.
13. If I were a character on 'Friend' I would be: in bed with Jennifer Aniston.
14. By this time next year: 17 women will have written books named a variation How I Bagged Tiger. I mean really. For some reason I don't it requires a great deal of talent.
15. I have a hard time understanding: why I got tossed out of first grade. I thought they let me back because I was finally old enough to hit on the girls. I swear that school could have used a serious attitude adjustment.
16. My current gripe is: Jill Hennessy is still married to that idiot husband of hers. I swear she could be a lot more concerned about my feelings.
17. There’s this girl I know that: took her sweet time finding me. Although as she pointed out at breakfast, at least she succeeded. I had to admit that was was a decent point.
18. If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: anyone at Ripley's. This blog has no redeeming qualities at all. Although we did win Least Likely Blog to Succeed in 2006. That was a Kodak moment for sure.
19. Take my advice: I'm begging you, I'd keep away from-a Runaround Sue.
20. The thing I want to buy: that brothel in Nevada that I've had my eye on.
21. If you visited the place I was born: you'd be in the maternity ward. Enjoy your stay.
22. I plan to visit: Julia Roberts. She's getting back to me on what fits into her filming schedule. In fact the phone could ring at any moment. Well, it could happen.
23. If you spent the night at my house: bring a sexy female friend. I love it when women take the trouble to set it all up. It's what my dad said in the old country they would call it a "nice touch." I said, "Gee Dad, they don't call it a threesome there?"
24. I’d stop my wedding if: the maid of honor and best man back out of the having public sex part at the reception. I have pretty high standards.
25. The world could do without: war. All we are saying is give peace a chance.
26. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: do yet another meme with a 12 year-old meme writer.
27. Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: Milk. You never know when a sexy lady might come to the door and ask, "Got milk?"
28. Most recent thing someone else bought me: a book called Blogs for Family Fun. I'm told that if I do that I'd open my blog to entire new blogging circles. But really, what a fucking waste of time that would be. Who'd want those readers?
29. My favorite blonde is: Meg Ryan.
30. My favorite brunette is: Jill Hennessy.
31. My favorite red head is: Jennifer Morrison.
32. My middle name is: none of your fucking business.
33. In the morning I: made coffee for my lady. She said it did not suck as badly as she was sure it would. I walking on air now!
34. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: elephants. When they crap on your car, Houston we've got a serious problem.
35. Once, at a bar: I was a DJ named Gary Hunter. But who'd possibly remember that?
36. Last night I was: with my lady. We had a great prime rib dinner at the Yardhouse Tavern and then watched the movie Across the Universe. The movie was fantastic.
37. There’s this guy I know who: thinks I made up the French twins. His theory is pretty flimsy if you ask me. He said that the never look the same in any two posts. I told him. I said, "Sez you."
38. If I was an animal I’d be: lion. I think it's important to stay at the top of the food chain.
39. A better name for me would be: Miller Lite.
40. Tomorrow I am: working.
41. Tonight I am: sleeping. Does the excitement ever cease?
42. My birthday is: November 3rd. Get me something nice, 'kay?
That's it for today on the
WTIT: The Blog.
Enjoy your Sunday.
We're back with Mayhem.
Enjoy your Sunday.
We're back with Mayhem.
Peace, my friends.
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