Tell Her to Be Quiet

Either you have used sites like Match.com or Yahoo Personals or you’ve read them. Weekly, WTIT: The Blog scours those on-line dating sites to respond either ladies’ profiles or often their headlines as most of us would really like to do. Please understand that we are not responding seriously or mean spiritedly. It is just the way we process the world. The spelling or grammar errors were in the original profiles. The profile statements are in bold. Let the stupidity begin!!

I'm searching for my best friend and lover. Can it be two people and I'll just be the lover?

I have been to Europe, the islands, Mexico and throughout much of the United States. I would love to do more! Indeed. You may have already done too much.

Your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights. But your ears thirst for the sound of your heart's knowledge. Lady, get down off that roof. No. Better yet, jump.

I have met some great people on this site. No doubt why you are still here. Next!

Your friend is your needs answered. So my friend is sex? I can live with that.

At 3 in the morning, you might find me vacuuming my house. Nope. Trust me on this one, I'm not going to be there. It does sound thrilling, though.

Having only one child was not my original plan and I would love to have more, but I am not certain if my desire can come to fruition. Being 62, I'd plan on some other plan.

At times, I can be wild and adventurous as evidenced by my past nicknames of "Tiger" and "Face." You made this up, right? Lucky guess.

Due to some life-altering circumstances, I have become even more daring and my son sometimes struggles with and wonders what his mother will do next!! Next time lock up the fucking videos. Please!

The man I am searching for will be my best friend, my partner in crime, and my lover. Can it be three people and I'll be the lover?

I seek a man whose lips never want to stop kissing. Then you seek a man that does not exist. We're just in it for the blowjobs. You can look it up.

No, that doesn't mean we have to be together 24/7. That's good. I couldn't do 1/7!

If you have to tell me to be quiet, it would not be the first time it's happened and I won't get offended. Then, with all due respect, shut the fuck up.

Thank you for dropping
by the WTIT Blog today.
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Check that, it also might not.
Join us for Crazy Sam's Saturday 9.
Same time. Same blog.

14 comments:

Lorielle said...

This really reminds me of the movie "The Ugly Truth" - too funny!

Tilli said...

Dude, you brought me a lady with a half tiger face. My mind is so blown that I can't even make comments on the rest of the post. Other than 'with all due respect, shut the fuck up.' - wahahahaha!

Mr. Lance said...

Weiser, ummm Wednesday... But kinda Late...

Http://solitaryviews.blogspot.com

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Lorielle-
Someone has got to tell them!

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Tara-
It is a scary photo. :)

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Lance-
I'll check it out!

Anonymous said...

Those are hilarious! Perfect response to the one about "a man whose lips never want to stop kissing" :P

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Not Suzy-
Thanks. It is the truth...

Staci said...

The BJ one made me laugh and it's so true!!!!

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Staci-
Men are men. :)

Starrlight said...

That babbling brook of a bimbo with her hearts silence and ear hair or whatever the fuck she said really really really needs to just admit she is plushy who does bad bad things with stuffed animals.

While wearing a chicken outfit. I tell ya, bet money I am right.

Jodi said...

Adrian Monk also vacuums at 3 in the morning. Enough said. LOL - NEXT!!!

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Starr-
She WAS really scary. I could posted her entire profile. It would keep everyone laughing for a freakin' week...

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Jodi-
Why would someone share that?