1. What is your favorite summer drink? Deep in the Amazon, there are a race of very small people (averaging four feet) who make the most delicious concoction that I import from the Brazilian jungle. It is made with great care. The high Priestess, known as the Rasjainip, is the only member of the tribe who even knows the recipe. Well, just she and her escort actually know it, he is known as the Bandicsh, so that if the Priestess is eaten by say a jaguar, the nectar may still be made. They begin by taking a rare fruit of this jungle known as “the lemon”. They add water and sugar in this secret ceremony. So, I suppose my answer is lemonade.
2. What is the best summer sport to play? The New England Regional Threesomes Endurance Tournament. Talk about a work out. If your group goes all the way, so to speak, you may be forced to have continuous sex for three lunar days. By the time it ends, you really don’t care who the fuck won. It is all about good sportsmanship.
3. What’s the best summer sport to watch? I always catch up for the tournament by watching videos of the preceding years’ contest. It doesn’t help a damn, but it is fun to have friends over and I prepare my famous Oysters Rattalini in lobster broth with a hint a nutcass.
4. Do you like the ocean, the pool or the lake? For surfing, I prefer the ocean. For swimming laps, the pool. Swimming laps in the ocean to Europe and back is something I may never do again. And lakes are great when you have small children. I haven’t a fucking clue why I said that, but I had to come with some damn thing about the freakin’ lake.
5. Some folks drink whiskey in the winter and gin, tequila (margaritas) or rum drinks in the summer. Does your alcohol of choice change? Sam, I am SO glad you brought this question in for a fucking landing. Thanks for all the examples, we who do memes are apparently dumb as rocks. You need tequila for margaritas? Wow, are you smart. I was just about to use gasoline. I just hope you have the good sense to pour Bushmills Irish Whiskey, Johnnie Walker Blue scotch, Crown Royal Canadian liquor and Bulleit Bourbon in the winter. And of course you must use Captain Morgan Rum, Jose Cuervo or Don Julio Tequila and Tanqueray Gin in the summer. What was the question? Yes, I do happen to sell all those brands, but that’s not the point. Wait. I lied. It is the point. In the summer for a change of pace I drink Smirnoff. And yes, I sell that as well.
6. What is your favorite summer song? Summer Rain by Johnny Rivers is great, but I think a Beach Boys’ song is the answer so I’ll go with “Fun, Fun, Fun”.
7. What was your best summer growing up? How old were you and why was it best? The first summer I got laid. I know you probably find this a shocking and tasteless answer. You probably though I'd say something much more proper like “the first summer I got my first blow-job”. Sorry, if I let you down. Oh, I was sixteen, BTW.
8. Have you ever had a summer romance that you knew would end? Here’s a secret and those of you in REALLY happy marriages will say I am wrong, but I am not. Everything ends. Those sixty year marriage our grandparents did are gone. Nothing lasts. But, it does not mean it cannot be a great and wonderfully long journey, but one of you would have to croak for it to be “forever”. Once those kids grow up, you wonder what the fuck you ever saw in your partner. Of course, I could be wrong. It has happened, not often, but twice I believe.
9. How old were you when you first went skinny-dipping? Who were you with? I was actually rather old and between marriages. While I don’t usually fool around with married women, there was the beauty I met after my first marriage. She and I often skinny-dipped in the condo pool late at night. This was not a well thought out plan since her husband was the nighttime security guard. He must have caught us at least ten times. The stories and explanations his wife came up with were ridiculous. But the man was a fucking security guard. He always bought it. My favorite was when she said that there was a government warning that all detergents that summer cause allergies with bathing suits. You should have heard her story when he actually caught us having sex. She convinced him that she was thinking of him the WHOLE time. They guy actually looked flattered.
We hope that when we return
that you will join us.
Although, we will totally understand
if you asked your significant other to join
in the New England Threesome Tournament and
they then forbade you from reading us again.
Tomorrow, we will do our Stealing feature.
When we will rip off some wonderful person's
meme. This week it is from Shannon
by way of the Queen at Mimi Writes.
See us again on the WTIT: The Blog.
Same time. Same Blog. Goodnight, Sam.