sat-8 :: annoying people & things
1. last night, i went out with mr. lola to a birthday party. i'd had a migraine, and mr. lola's partner's girlfriend's voice was threatening to trigger another migraine. whose voice REALLY annoys you? this can be a famous person or just an individual you know. Fran Drescher is the first name that popped into my head. When she was first on the scene I found her very funny. But a lot of that was because of her voice. Then it got less funny. Kind of the way “DY-NO-MITE” was funny the first thousand times on Good Times. Lola, I bet YOUR voice is a laugh riot.
2. mr. lola's business partner in his other corporation had a date there, and this woman had an enormous HORSE LAUGH. it was so annoying, even the partner was going around the party making fun of her. whose laugh annoys you the most? I bet when your husband's friend calls that fucking escort service next time he’ll say, “Bigger boobs, but no horse laugh…”
3. there is a commercial for aussie shampoo running currently where a female purple kangaroo has to declare the contents of her pouch ... which include the aussie 3-min. miracle. the annoying, silent kangaroo only has facial expressions, and the annoying red-haired customs agent goes from geek-chic to va-va-voom in just 3 minutes. i just want to CHOKE them both. what is the most annoying commercial you have seen recently? Hands down it is whatever the latest medicine that is for erectile dysfunction. The one where a couple is all happy about the fact that the two of them are on their way home. Then, they see friends inside a restaurant. Naturally, instead of going home and have hot and heavy, wet and nasty, tender loving sex, they join the couple in the restaurant. (Right.) The announcer tells us not to worry. The dude's ED meds last thirty-six hours. Like I wouldn’t have slept well without know whether that dude had sex or not.
4. i used to be a fan of the reality TLC series, "while you were out." since they got their new host, evan farmer, i simply cannot watch it because he is SO ANNOYING. imo, he has no idea what he's doing, his jokes are stupid, and his voice just works my last nerve. what TV host/personality/actor annoys the hell out of you? Lola, your jokes are stupid, your writing or lack thereof hits my nerves and yet I still do your fucking stupid memes. Is there anybody on the planet that does not annoy you?
5. mr. lola really likes the actress scarlett johanssen. everything about her annoys me. her hair, those wonky lips, her body, and i think her voice is the worst as to me it sounds like she's got something stuck in her throat. i even own 'girl with a pearl earring' but can't bring myself to watch it yet because of her annoying factor. what hollywood/film actor annoys the krappe of out you? Krappe? Is that like a soufflé? I am shocked that you find the woman your husband finds attractive annoying. Oh my fucking god. My ex used to hate my crush on Jill Hennessy. These annoyances within a relationship are just CRAZY. Like you’ve got to worry about Scarlett showing up at your house and ruining your marriage. Oops, we’ll talk later. Jill Hennessy is at my door.
6. damn the boy-group hanson for their annoying song 'mmmmmm-bop' which got stuck a few years ago in world's collective psyche. damn michael bolton's 'love is a wonderful thing' which gets stuck in my head after i hear it on muzac in an elevator. damn britney spears' writers for making her new album “blackout” so freaking catchy. what song that admittedly annoys you always seems to get stuck in your head? Here’s a flash Lola. God invented the iPod on the eighth day. Don’t put on any Hansen or Bolton songs. Or Britney for that matter. Although at least Britney has truth in advertising. She calls an album “Blackout” after she loses her kids due to drugs and alcohol. What the fuck was the question?
7. i have a little gadget - it's a doll by tomy that has a head which wobbles back and forth to solar energy. it looks like a baby girl doll, and the head is just like a painted ping-pong doll. my friends find this thing SO annoying, but i love it! what item do you own that your friend/family find very annoying? We didn’t own him, but the answer is my crazy Uncle Ralph. As a kid it was like, "Yes Ralph, I want to pull your fucking finger again. Oh and while we are at it, Ralph, that’s not your wife that you’re trying to screw." The year Aunt Maggie poisoned him was a big day for the Weiser clan. Getting rid of the body was a great family project!
8. last night, all i could hear about was mr. lola's partner's girlfriend's lack of panties. i can't count the number of times this girl told me ... or worked into our conversation ... that she wasn't wearing any panties. not only was it in poor taste and really not relevant to anything we were talking about, but it was also very uninteresting. when was the last time you were stuck in a conversation with someone who was giving you annoying information that you didn't really need to know ... or WANT to know? I am willing to bet the ranch that Mr. Lola LOVED the conversation. That is what is pissing you off. OK, the question. I think the call I got last night from my ex girlfriend from two years ago qualifies. She is still SO pissed we broke up that while she was having sex with some guy she called me up so I could hear it. Some people, you know? I told her to call when she’s doing another woman and I’d join them. She then fucking hung up on me. I was a bit pissed until I thought about the guy she was with. Can you imagine hearing, “Don’t stop Fred, but I need to call my ex so he can listen and get really pissed…”
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Same time. Same blog. Goodnight, Lola.