Live Long and Prosper

Either you have used sites like Match.com or Yahoo Personals or you’ve read them. Weekly, The WTIT Blog scours those on-line dating sites. We respond to either a line in a lady's profile or her headline on her dating site, as most of us would really like to do. Please understand that we are not responding seriously or mean spiritedly. This a comedy feature. The spelling or grammar errors were in the original profiles. The profile statements are in bold. Let the stupidity begin!!

I am also looking for someone with lots of energy. Would you hold it down? I am trying to sleep here!

FREE YOUR MIND AND THE REST WILL FOLLOW! Thanks for the all-knowing shit, Yoda.

One of my greatest loves is to cock and be creative while entertaining with my friends. That must be quite the show.

A man who can stimulate all five senses at once! Sight, hearing, smelling, taste and touch. So, I will dance while singing an aria (or is that area? I am better at rock metaphors.) holding your hand, while wearing aftershave. You’ll have to decide what you want to taste.

If your mom lives with you, that's OK. Hold that thought. Mom, can I ask this nice lady out?

Mamas boys need not respond to this ad. Would you make up your fucking mind?

If I could live anywhere but florida. Great! I hear North Korea is a barrel of laughs. When do we leave?

Standing on God's promises. Oh. I just thought you were wearing high heals. My bad.

Are you the one? No. His name was Neo and only the first Matrix movie rocked. The other two sucked.

Understand I KEEPS IT REAL...now the question is can you deal with that? No way. I keeps it under my bed in a box.

I discovered the underwater world. However, it's not as much fun without that special someone to share the experience with. Even if it's just a walk in the park. There are fucking parks underwater? Who knew?

Live long and prosper. You gotta be shitting me. I am as big a Trekker as the next guy, but really…

Above all, I need a man’s attention who really listens. I am sorry, I was lost in a thought. What were you saying?

This feature was inspired by Mimi Lenox's Dating Profile of the Day. Used with permission.

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