Live Long and Prosper

Either you have used sites like Match.com or Yahoo Personals or you’ve read them. Weekly, The WTIT Blog scours those on-line dating sites. We respond to either a line in a lady's profile or her headline on her dating site, as most of us would really like to do. Please understand that we are not responding seriously or mean spiritedly. This a comedy feature. The spelling or grammar errors were in the original profiles. The profile statements are in bold. Let the stupidity begin!!

I am also looking for someone with lots of energy. Would you hold it down? I am trying to sleep here!

FREE YOUR MIND AND THE REST WILL FOLLOW! Thanks for the all-knowing shit, Yoda.

One of my greatest loves is to cock and be creative while entertaining with my friends. That must be quite the show.

A man who can stimulate all five senses at once! Sight, hearing, smelling, taste and touch. So, I will dance while singing an aria (or is that area? I am better at rock metaphors.) holding your hand, while wearing aftershave. You’ll have to decide what you want to taste.

If your mom lives with you, that's OK. Hold that thought. Mom, can I ask this nice lady out?

Mamas boys need not respond to this ad. Would you make up your fucking mind?

If I could live anywhere but florida. Great! I hear North Korea is a barrel of laughs. When do we leave?

Standing on God's promises. Oh. I just thought you were wearing high heals. My bad.

Are you the one? No. His name was Neo and only the first Matrix movie rocked. The other two sucked.

Understand I KEEPS IT REAL...now the question is can you deal with that? No way. I keeps it under my bed in a box.

I discovered the underwater world. However, it's not as much fun without that special someone to share the experience with. Even if it's just a walk in the park. There are fucking parks underwater? Who knew?

Live long and prosper. You gotta be shitting me. I am as big a Trekker as the next guy, but really…

Above all, I need a man’s attention who really listens. I am sorry, I was lost in a thought. What were you saying?

This feature was inspired by Mimi Lenox's Dating Profile of the Day. Used with permission.

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16 comments:

Dawn said...

"One of my greatest loves is to cock.." ???

I'm just guessing that's a typo! :D

Tink said...

"Above all, I need a man’s attention who really listens."

Yeah - - I got lost with that one too and I'm not even a dude! lol

Happy Friday!

Shannon H. said...

Cock? oh my

Men listen?

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

What Dawn said. WTF? These people should not be allow to procreate. Just saying. Have a great day and weekend Bud. :)

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Dawn-
I'm thinking she meant "cook"...

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Tink-
Nobody listens. But that's ok, cuz most of us really aren't saying mich...

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Shannon-
I bet she got several responses...

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Sandee-
You are SO right. Time to weed the herd...

Starrlight said...

No no no! It's free your mind and your ASS will follow. Neophytes!

This is why I don't date :P

"MoodyBlue" Jodi said...

Bud - you crack me up!!! You are hysterical as usual!

She needs a man who pays attention....good thing I'm not a man..with how easily I'm distracted -- what were you saying? LOL!!

I KEEPS IT REAL!!!!!!!!!! ROTFLMAO!

Linda said...

You are SO right about Neo and the first Matrix being the only good movie. Why they think they need to make a sequel for everything just amazes me sometimes!

Bond said...

Are Keanu and Leonard waving at each other?

No I think she mean co*k Bud...really I do...it was not too subtle, but that is what she was saying...

"MoodyBlue" Jodi said...

Bud...thank you SO much for that review...I am flattered & honored. Really!

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Jodi-
My pleasure. Your posts are clever ang honest. I enjoy your work..

Mimi Lenox said...

These are, again, typically insane and NOT unusual. That's why they are funny. And scary. And the slice of humanity known as the dating pool.
Oh joy. Getting my swimsuit....
and shark gear.

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Mimi-
It is a trip, isn't it!