Cheers to all us THIEVES!!
The "Did a Stoned Twelve Year-Old Write This?" Meme:
Nicknames: I answer to almost any grunt in my direction, “Hey you”, ”sir”, “old guy” but never “hey fuck face.”
Married: You’d have to get me pregnant.
High school: Petty, boring, surprised to graduate, WTIT had 10 DJs (The regular 5: Johnnie, Killer Joe, Bouncing Billy, Galloping Gary and I and the Kingswood guys: Teddy Q, Carter B., Hunt Winklee, Benny Hedges, Bull Durham, Ken Kolt)
College: Where I really learned about life and sex, drugs and rock n’ roll. First time on both college & pro radio stations.
University: Why kind of fucking moron wrote this? “See college”. (Is this like a freakin’ British thing?)
Short or long hair: Please. I’ve had almost every length, but normal is a good answer from age 40 forward.
Are you a healthy freak: Yes. I still put a lime in my Smirnoff.
Height: 6 feet. No inches. Of course with no inches how I got to be six feet is still a mystery.
Do you have a crush on someone: Thank you for this question. I haven’t thought about Jill Hennessy for two weeks. Ahhh. Jill.
Do you like yourself: I think I’m a fucking riot. But I am an aquired taste.
Piercings: I’ve already said I’m over forty. In fact, way over. They are working on my fucking teeth.
Righty or lefty: Righty. If I were a lefty my baseball pitching career would have been longer. I might have thrown a second inning.
Surgery: 7 back surgeries, an angioplasty and recently dental. The back lost me two years. If you find them I’d like them back.
Piercing: Ask a fucking question just once in a meme, dildo.
Award: On the blog we’ve won quite a few. But “Bestest Blog” was the bestest, er best.
Sport you joined: I would never join anything that would have me as a member.
Pet: Just my virtual dog "Happy". He doesn't eat anything and I never have to walk him.
Vacation: This summer to the New Jersey shore with two of my kids, two kids-in-law and two grandchildren. I am taking applications from women wanting to win a trip with me. Stand in line. No pushing. Email me. Geez.
Concert: Most recently Johnnie Walker took me to see Jimmy Buffett at Mohegan Sun. Buffett never disappoints. It is amazing that he is so huge and the radio just plays three of his songs.
First crush: That I’ve heard of? The Orange Crush Defense of the Denver Broncos in the 80’s.
Currently.... Eating: Not yet. Good question. Tho. It's so easy to eat and type.
Drinking: Diet Coke. It’s still early.
I'm about to: I thought of three totally obscene answers here. Pick one out yourself and insert it. No, insert it on the page. Some people can’t get their heads out of the gutter.
Your future... (Or in my case, my past. I think a twelve year-old wrote this.)
Want to get married: Another fucking repeat question. A twelve year-old smoking pot wrote these!
Careers in mind: I’ll continue with God’s work keeping Massachusetts safe from sobriety.
Which is better?? Lips or eyes: From an interactive standpoint lips. Try kissing an eye.
Hugs and kisses: Whichever gets her to take off her clothes faster.
Shorter or taller: Whomever takes off her clothes faster.
Romantic or spontaneous: They are not mutually exclusive. (Yes. I almost used the last line again.)
Sensitive or loud: Whatever. But sometimes I thought she was trying to wake up the neighbors.
Troublemaker or hesitant: Let’s go for trouble. I’ll make the Tequila Shooters. Make that Jose Cuervo Platino shooters.
Have you ever... Kissed a stranger: BWAHAHAHA. Remember my age. I’ve slept with more strangers that I care to share. Sorry!
Drank bubbles: Only on New Years after the lobsters are killed.
Lost glasses or contacts: I lose reading glasses so much I only buy them at the dollar store.
Ran away from home: Like someone would want to move in. Pay attention here for chrissakes.
Liked someone younger: Oh yea. On our first date she asked, “Your not as old as my father are you?” I asked, “How old is he? (I was 42.) She said, “39.” I stated, “Nope. I’m not his age.”
Liked someone older: Since I don’t ask for I.D.s, some have been older.
Broke someone's heart: That was never the plan. I hope not.
Do you believe in... Yourself: I think this blog is living proof that I have way too much ego. I do try to tone it down.
Miracles: Just when Smokey Robinson was still with the band. They were as good a R&B band as there ever was.
Heaven: No. Nor do I believe there are 70 virgins (of age) anywhere.
Magic: Only in the “That was awesome sex” thing.
Angels: Besides Patrick Swayze and Nicholas Cage? No.
Answer truthfully... Is there someone you want to be with right now?: Yes. Great question.
Do you believe in God: Does He believe in me? Ah, I thought not.
That does it for Stealing. We will return with
something equally exciting! We know, you are thinking
"This is never exciting."
Survive your Suck-o Monday.
Join us next time.
Right here when we return on
WTIT: The Blog. Same time. Same blog.