A Spotlight, a Queen & a Stripper

Every Saturday WTIT: The Blog brings you a meme called Saturday 9. It’s not to say that this is a bright idea, but it is what we do. A woman named Crazy Sam started this meme because our prior meme (and great buddy) Lola went into hibernation. Lola still occasionally posts, but it is about once every six weeks. So Sam contacted all Lola’s participants and invited us to participate in her meme. We are not sure why she included us, but she did. And we are glad she did. All of Sam’s questions and writing are in bold.

1. What was the best thing that happened to you this week? I think it will happen tonight. Powerball is at over $200,000,000. I watched this show on cable TV that showed how easy it is to win and the book only cost $29.95 plus $24.35 for shipping and handling. That will mean a net profit of $199,999,994.70!! But don’t tell anyone. I don’t want to get, well, hounded. Come to think of it, I better go out and buy a ticket.

2. What was the worst thing that happened this week? I wired $5000 to The Netherlander Bank of Nigeria. I was supposed to share in a $100,000 lotto claim. Words cannot describe the anger and pain I feel about being taken in. Who knew? How could anyone see that coming?

3. Describe an item of clothing that has definitely seen better days but that you refuse to dispose of and still wear. Why won't you toss it? I still wear my 20th Anniversary WTIT Tee Shirt. While I have new 40th Anniversary Shirts, they don’t have the same twenty-year wear feel. And I look incredibly rad and buff with the holes in the shirt.

4. Have you ever lied about your age? No. I am 26. And I still have the sexual drive and stamina of a 24 year-old. That’s why I am in great demand. Oh, I know what your thinking, “he’s got at least three kids older than that.” That’s SO easy to explain. It involves time travel and the like and if you wire me $5000 by midnight I’ll share the secret.

5. Would you rather be behind the scenes or in the spotlight? This is a fucking no-brainer. I was born for the spotlight. In fact now that I decided that I’m 26, I’m gonna win American Idol next year. I wrote this REALLY romantic song for my audition. It’s called “Don’t Fuck Around with Love”. Catchy, isn’t it?

6. Where was your first out-of-country trip? How was it? I went to Bannister, North Carolina. Now, you might think that’s part of the United States, but it is not. They have their own Queen who lives in this splendid castle named Bloggingham Palace. The Queen is strict, but fair but needs to get better servants to prepare her food, if you ask me. They’ve got this huge statue of Richard Petty, too. Boy, that dude is ugly.

7. Do you like surprises? If yes what kinds? If no, why not? True story: My first wife hired a stripper for WTIT’s 20th Anniversary Tape and Party. That was a great surprise. The fact that she removed my pants in front of seven DJs and my wife certainly was a surprise for my wife as well. My wife grabbed her by the hair and up the stairs to toss her out. All we heard downstairs was who gave better blowjobs. Shockingly, my wife thought I should have stopped the stripper. I said, “Shit I thought it was part of the surprise.” I still wonder why that marriage didn’t work out.

8. Have you ever had sex with two different people on the same day? Of course. Often. Who hasn’t? What a lame question.

9. Which do you prefer, the sunrise or the sunset? OK Sam, Lola wrote this question. What the fuck is the difference? OK, I’ll go with sunset. It’s hard to see sunrises when you sleep till noon.

We really appreciate your visit here on
WTIT Tape Radio: The Blog.
We will return right here.
Probably with a thang we call Stealing.
But, play it by ear.
Same time. Same Blog. Goodnight, Sam.

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12 comments:

Diesel said...

Grudir the Implacable gets those 'business proposals' all the time. He responded once, telling the nice Nigerian man that he was a Nazgul with no corporeal form, and they still haven't gotten back to him.

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Diesel-
The killer is they probably will...

Anonymous said...

Dear WTIT Person,

We are sick and tired of you bashing our fine town known as Banister, North Carolina. The fact that we have a Queen AND a statue of Richard Petty should be enough for you to keep your sarcastic comments to yourself. In fact, the Queen is cooking enough soup today for the entire town to eat for a month. What a sweetheart! Why you never appreciated my...her cooking is beyond me. She fed you, she bathed you, she took care of you after I...she...gave you food poisoning. What's not to appreciate?

After all, you were a Connecticut Yankee in Queen Mimi's Court. The nerve!

Signed,
The Mayor Of Banister
(which, by the way, is a territorial province rightly within the Blogosphere borders)

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Dear Anomymous:

The Queen bathed me well, I'll admit. Feed me well? Well, she did pick out some great restaurants. I think you'd have more credibilty if you remembered your name. It is Howard Drekman & I even interviewed you! Check it out...if you dare!

Tara said...

Loved your answers! The stripper response was really funny!! Thanks for stopping by my blog! :-)

Gigi said...

YOu crack me up! Visit My Blog

Linda said...

I actually remembered to buy a couple of Powerball tickets before the drawing rather than the next day for a change so am busy typing up my letter of resignation to be turned in on Monday after I go to Newington to claim my winnings. Good plan, eh??

If you ever go back to the country of Barrister, North Carolina, could you tell the Queen down there that generally one wants liquid in a soup and that's why they call it soup rather than just boiled vegetables? I can't for the life of me figure out how she managed to give you food poisoning with her outstanding culinary skills but when I win the lottery, I'm getting her a personal chef - it's on the list!

Oh, and you've been tagged!

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Tara-
Thanks. I appreciate your visit here, as well.

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Gigi-
An honest woman. I loved how you plead the fifth to "2 people on the same day"! BWAHAHAHA!

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Linda-
She really never gave me food poisoning. But she cooks a lot of stuff and at the end we'd look at it and say, "No way." She is a perfect example of John Lennon's lyric, "Life is what happens while we're busy making other plans..."

Crazy Sam said...

Thanks for Saturday..(hee hee)

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Sam-

And you made ME promise to be quiet. And seriously, if we had actually done that I would have felt that I was cheating on Lola. As Simon Cowell would say, "Sorry!"

12:48 AM