Laughing My Ass Off

Either you have used sites like Match.com or Yahoo Personals or you’ve read them. Weekly, The WTIT Blog scours those on-line dating sites. We respond to either a line in a lady's profile or her headline on her dating site, as most of us would really like to do. Please understand that we are not responding seriously or mean spiritedly. This a a comedy feature. The spelling or grammar errors were in the original profiles. The profile statements are in bold. Let the stupidity begin!!

IT is important to know that no one is perfect. Very profound. Better go lie down. You've thought enough for one day.

I am looking for someone that makes my heart skip a beat, and I do the same for them. But you will settle for anybody who will actually go out with you. Good luck with that.

Just started back into the dating scene. So, I don't ask for much. No problem. I won’t give you anything.

I am looking for a thoughtful, honest man who does not take himself too seriously. A thoughtful and honest dude with NO confidence. Got it. Does he have to take you seriously?

I'm not looking for someone to take care of me. That's not what I need. You are in luck. I won’t take care of you. In fact, I may not even pay attention to you.

I am studying to be an archivist. I was just saying, “My next lover must me an archivist.”

I have learned a lot, the most important lesson? Hold it, there. People are looking for dates here, lady, not a teacher.

Well here I go... Well here I go bye-bye.

Keep smiling.
I saw your profile. Smile? I am laughing my ass off.

Like Oprah says... Stop right there. Do not quote me Oprah, I am begging you. What’s next? Dr. fucking Phil?

Try to see the glass half full not half empty. Honest to God, what are these people thinking? It is a frigging cliché festival today.

Goal # 1: Get off this site. Goal # 2: Get off this planet and return to your home world.

So here goes nothing… Stop there. Who the fuck would care what you’d say next?

So what will tomorrow bring? Better ask someone who has a clue. Here tomorrow will bring Saturday 9. It could be your best Saturday of all time. Of course, if it is, it will have nothing to do with us. Join us anyway. Here on WTIT: The Blog. It might be good.
We hope you find the time to join us!
Same time. Same blog.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey! Where'd the music go? I want my WTIT! :-)

Linda said...

And people ask me why I don't want to try online dating sites. Hello? Is this the best that's out there? I will save my time and money thank you very much!

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Hi Paula-

Thanks for the comment on the music. I stopped it to see if it would be missed. In three weeks you seem to be the only one who has noticed.

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Hi Linda-

The sites aren't a bad way to meet people. (There really is no GOOD way) This type of stupidity is why you hit the "next" button!

Dawn said...

Love the post title :)
Other peoples stupidity really does make for great comedy!
My favorite:
I am studying to be an archivist. I was just saying, “My next lover must me an archivist.”

Mimi Lenox said...

Great stuff, Bud. A sense of humor definitely comes in handy. Otherwise, it's just depressing.

My "comeback" Dating Comeback Challenge is up. It was probably one of the scariest I've written.

I need to lie down now.

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Dawn-
Thanks! And what does an archivist even do? And if it is as dull as it sounds, why share that info?

Mimi-
Thanks. I will do the challenge. I am sick of Vinny winning. (That is a joke, Mr. Bond.)

Bond said...

hehehehehehehe

I started doing it because I hated YOU winning all the time!

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Vinny-
I don't blame you...