Accepting Apps for a Girlfriend

Welcome again to Stealing which we bring you weekly on The WTIT Blog. We have gotten really good at just stealing a meme from someone else’s post. Today the meme is ripped off from Cat from a blog called Sweet Memes. She stole it I think, but how she got it, who knows? We never go back to the credit previous thefts anyway. Too much effort, and really who cares? Usually, what we steal is stolen as well. We are just smarter by calling our theft “A Feature”. All meme questions are in bold. A nice touch is that every week some of you rip it off from me. Please continue to do so.

Cheers to all us THIEVES!

The 63 Meme:

1. Do you have to really know someone to kiss them? Yea, right. I’ve been naked with someone and not known them. Who hasn’t?

2. How long has it been since you last liked somebody? Liked as in romance? 7 months, three days, twelve hours. Give or take.

3.Does anything rhyme with your last name? Rider, Riser, Compromiser, et al. Buy a thesaurus and leave me alone.

4. Who was the last person to compliment you? Your wife. She said I was WAY better than you. Sorry, you asked.

5. What is your favorite thing to order from Coldstone? I hadn’t a fucking clue what you mean. Searching with google I’m thinking this is about some ice cream place. So, I have never ordered anything there nor do I expect to.

6. Is anything stuck in your head? Your mom’s naked pics. Brrrrrrrrr.

7. What's all you did today? It’s the weekend. It’s about sports, music, getting naked with someone and Smirnoff. How ‘bout yourself?

8. Do you oftenly use the term "slut"?
I prefer “nappy headed ho”.

9. Have you ever tried training a dog? For ten minutes as a ten year old. The dog was dumb as a rock. But we do celebrate his birthday every February.

10. Did you talk to anybody random today? Not yet, but I will. I dial random numbers and ask, “Is your husband at home? If she says “no” I ask if she wants to come over to play ‘Hide the Salami”. It works only in about one in ten times. It's good that I have nothing better to do.


11. Do you regret anything you've done in the past 24 hours? Not that comes to mind. Although my memory isn't what it used to be. Not that comes to mind. Although my memory isn't what it used to be. What was the question?


12. Who is the most physically attractive person on this planet?
I’ll say Jill Hennessy. However, I am getting concerned that Crossing Jordan might get the ax.

13. What will you be doing in 24 hours? It will be a Monday. Let us ponder. Oh right, it’s called “work”.

14. Do you have HDTV? Howdie Doody TV? Not in years.

16. Where did you get your favorite pair of sunglasses? The question is not where I got them but rather where they are. I haven’t seen those suckers for six weeks. What happen to question 15, BTW?

17. What was the last thing you dressed up as for Halloween? I was a Klingon at a company Halloween contest while working for Cox Communications. I won.

18. What is your current relationship status? I am as single as you can get without prison involved. I am taking applications as we speak for my next girlfriend. To email me: Click here.

19. Is anything currently frustrating you? I haven’t seen a naked woman all weekend. No one knocked on my door by mistake or anything. Of course, backing out on the date I was suppose to go on contributed, as well.

20. Write a brief statement saying anything you want to an anonymous person: Dear Anonymous Person, you need to get a damn name.

21.
Write a brief statement saying anything you want to an anonymous person: Dear Anonymous Person, you need to get a damn name. Am I having deja vu?

22. How do you deal with drama? About the same way I deal with comedy. Or perhaps a bit more seriously. But with this writer's strike all we see is reality TV. Make it stop. And don't tell me you canceled my favorite show. I am begging you.

23. Are the best things in life free? BWAHAHAHA. There are no free rides. You always pay.

24. Are your parents proud of your recent behavior? Proud of my writing this blog? I am not sure that word is applicable. After they said, “Who reads this shit?” I changed the subject.

25. Would you ever have a threesome with your friend and their bf/gf? Didn’t I just say on last week's Stealing that you don’t conquest and tell? Well, that includes those wonderful and carefree threesomes as well.

26. Why do you like the person you like? This question reminds me of a line from the TV show M*A*S*H. It was said by Frank Burns, “It is nice to be nice to the nice.”

27. Do you know all the colors in the rainbow? Is this like knowing my state capitols, or do you mean have they ever been over to my place? Either way, follow the fucking yellow brick road and go away.

28. Are your shoes untied? My feet are naked.

29. Who would you really like to become better friends with? Jill Hennessy comes to mind. I have asked her to leave her husband and small children. She was not amused. She really can be closed minded at times. And, why did she not tell me she lost her job? Although I can never stay mad, at her, long...

30. Have you ever written a poem? There once was a lady from Maine, Whose sex life had drove her insane. She said with a smile, that it had been quite a while, Since she had done ten guys on a train.


31. Who did you get this survey from? I stole it, moron. Just like anyone who does a meme. And calling it a “survey” does not make it less lame.

32. Do you have a calendar in your room? Yes. It features a naked pictures of your girlfriend.

33. Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? Yes. It is an expensive, disgusting addiction that I gave up four years ago. God, do I miss those Marlboro Lights…

34. Do you personally know anybody who has more than five tattoos? Sure. Doesn’t everybody tattoo their ex-wives names on their ass?

35. Do you prefer Jamba Juice or Starbucks? I prefer Smirnoff. Thoughtful question, though.

36. What is your fondest high school memory? Getting laid for the first time. I imagine though that is everyone's answer.

37. Do you have trouble believing in yourself? No. I have trouble believing in meme writers. Really do you wake up one day and say, “Thou shall write a meme.”? Although the fact that Crazy Sam started writing one because Lola stopped, was a stroke of genius. She must of known that I was dead in the water when I killed off Lola.

38. Describe the outfit you are wearing? I am wearing a tee shirt that Gale Martin from Gemosophy sent me for being her millionth reader or something like that. And running pants that I just bought. Did you know Gale’s writing a book?

39. What is the most romantic thing you've done for someone? I do remember. She said, “Hey big boy, you know what I’ve never done?” So I did it. She still sends me thank you cards.

40. Is anybody jealous of you? For what? That I own a Tape Radio Station? Lots write me about that.

41. Do you use the internet daily? “Use” is such a tough word. I perfer “communicate” and yes.

42. Could you imagine your life without your best friend? Yes. The older you get the more “best friends” you lose. They move. You grow apart. They catch you doing their wife. Shit happens.

43. Name something you dislike about the day you're having? No naked women here. That really sucks. Check that. Poor choice of a word…

44. Who was the last person to make you cry? Someone broke up with me and after said she had never had better sex? It was a tender touching moment. As I cried I asked, “then why…Why?” She explained her husband put his foot down. Man is he an ass.

45. Do you like change? As in change my mind? Change my clothes? Change my girlfriend? As in a change drawer? Get back to me on this one.

46. What is your favorite snack? Smirnoff on the rocks.


47. Do your boyfriends/girlfriends usually meet your parents? Only if there is no other choice.


48. You need a new outfit, where do you go first? Japan. For no other reason than this meme asked so many stupid questions that it deserved one incredibly stupid answer.

That does it for Stealing. We will return with something equally brilliant. It might be good enough to return for, but maybe not.
Make that no chance.
We will return on the WTIT Blog.
Same time. Same blog.

4 comments:

Dawn said...

You are hysterical :)))
I don't know where to start... the whole damned thing was funny. Especially leaving your email address for potential girlfriend apps...

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Dawn-

Yet surprising there has not been a rash of apllications...

Mimi Lenox said...

I still think if you hold out long enough Jill will come around. Give her time....

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Mimi-

I've given seven years already. Maybe she's playing hard to get...