Do You Sorta Have Sex?

We try to bring this feature to you every Saturday on the WTIT Tape Radio Blog, this meme that is called Saturday 8. The author for years has been a lady named Lola. While she used to post every week, Lola now has her problems from time to time. So now we can only do the feature if she bothers to post. Lola's questions often make no sense what-so-ever. We feel it is part of her "charm". All quotes in bold are from Lola. Also, any spelling and grammar mistakes that are in Lola’s meme, we leave there. We wouldn’t want to mess around with her “art”.

sat-8:: bubble, bubble, toil and trouble

1. when was the last time you cooked for friends? I have cooked for girlfriends, dates or wives (and on some days one right after the other) but never for more that one person. Yuk.

2. what did you cook? You might remember that I am exceptionally good with lobsters on New Year's Eve. I better hurry and find a date. Lobster is not the same when you are alone. Although that is true of a lot of things.

3. what is the dish/meal/course that you prepare exceptionally well, and what makes it SO good? Rakistanian Beef Jerk Delight. This one is SO complicated that you must start with a live cow. You should see my dates, “Bud there is a cow I your kitchen.” I’d respond, “Yes that is dinner.” One date started crying that I was killing a life. I reminded that her favorite restaurant was The Outback. Jeez. Doesn’t she realize unlike a TV show, animals do get hurt when you decide to eat them.

4. the girl who cooked for my sorta-bf brought her sister-in-law over to help her cook. they both wound up burning themselves all over the kitchen. when was the last time you gave yourself a good burn in the kitchen? do you recall what you were preparing? When I finally got that fucking cow into the deep fry master grease fry tub, he caught fire when my friend Fred missed the sink we he tossed away a lit cigarette. But Lola, do tell, what the hell is a sorta boyfriend? Do you sorta have sex and sorta like one another. Strike that. I think you should get back to your husband. You on the open market is a horrible thought.

5. the s-i-l wound up putting cheddar cheese on a chicken, and calling it the main course. since my sorta-bf and his friends are like israeli, they didn't understand the concept of ruining a bone-in chicken with cheddar. what was the last meal you ate that really confused you - maybe you thought you were ordering one thing, but got something completely different, or a friend/lover cooked something you'd never seen before? Have you considered giving out programs for these questions so that we can keep all these people straight? You’ve got an S-I-L there, a sorta boyfriend, sorta boyfriend's “like” Israeli friends and a freaking chicken with cheddar cheese all over it. Here is the answer: Boil water. Thrown in macaroni. Cook thoroughly. Scrape cheese off chicken and mix into the macaroni. Put BBQ sauce on the chicken and cook for 7 minutes at 400 degrees.

6. how old were you when you first began to cook? The only thing I have cooked for any period of time (besides grilling) is breakfast. But I must have live chicken so that the eggs are really fresh. After you get enough eggs pluck the feathers off the chicken. Cover with cheddar cheese and repeat steps in question 5.

7. what are your thoughts on cooking? love it? hate it? take it or leave it? Hate is a strong word, but I really, really, really don't like cooking.

8. if your SO suddenly developed 5* chef-quality cooking abilities and he/she was to cook you an amazing romantic meal him/herself, what would you love to have them prepare for you? If my “so” developed five? Whaaat? I dont even know what you mean. Would I help cook? BWAHAHAHA. That would be like being married to a dentist and you said, “Hon, mind filling a cavity before you turn out the light?

Some things you can count on. Lola is not one of them. Thanks for showing up here at the WTIT Blog. We will return tomorrow with Stealing! You better call everybody now. They'll all want to be here. At a this here blog. Oops, the line is already forming. Better hurry! Happy December! Join us.
Same time. Same blog. Goodnight, Lola.


Mimi Lenox said...

Those crabcakes look vaguely familiar. Sorta.

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

You've taken photos of some nightmarish food. I've even witnessing you fighting and talking to yourself about a receipe (or end result...). Why on earth would want to relive that?

Anonymous said...

Cute picture, whatcha holding?