In the Bedroom, It's About Her

First a "Lola" update. Lola has not posted a new Saturday 8 meme in a month. The last few she did post, we believed were written by somebody else. We have been usin OLD Lola questions and writing new answers. It seems that unfortunately this feature has died. If she comes back, we will do it again, then. If you would like to write to encourage her, click here. WRITE A QUESTION LIKE LOLA UPDATE: We need more Lola questions. We have received three excellent questions, but we'd like to try for eight. If you can help this demented cause, please do. If you enter you get a Lola Badge. Wow, huh!

Weekly, WTIT Tape Radio: The Blog scours on-line dating sites to present the most telling lines. The spelling or grammar errors were in the original profiles. The profile statements are in bold. Let the stupidity begin!!

I am not going to go on and on about beaches, and sunsets (although they are 2 of my favorites). I think it's better to get to know someone. In other words, you are too fucking lazy to even fill out your profile.

My closest friends describe me as honest, real and kind. Everyone else thinks you are a shallow unreal bitch.

The keys to a lasting relationship are honesty. You ran out of “keys to a lasting relationship” very quickly.

I would like to meet a man that is kind hearted, clever, has a great sense of humor and has time for me. You gotta be fuckin’ kidding me. You are looking for WAY too much out of a guy.

Love life. Do you? No I am depressed and alone. After I finish this moronic feature for the blog, I’m jumping off a bridge.

IF YOUR PERSONALITY SUCKS, THEN FORGET IT. Don’t hold it in, tell us how you really feel.

If you don’t succeed, eat chocolate. Oh. That explains your weight.

I spent too many years on a boat trying to be seafaring and sushi is just a bad reminder of being stuck in the middle of the ocean with the bait rotting in the hull being ingested by maggots. Thanks for sharing that piece of shit. I may not eat for days.

In the bedroom it is all about me. Great. I’ll send you some batteries.

I just got a puppy as a substitute for a man. I am not going to fucking touch this one. Insert your own joke here.

I am ready to get my feet wet. I am not sure that it works that way.

I promise not to bite.
Forget it then. Next!

If you like to laugh, snuggle, kiss, travel, occassionally cook, play pool, throw a dart or two, work in the yard, throw a frisbee for the dog, socialize with friends and family, etc.......... then you might just be the guy I am looking for. Okay let’s see. Laugh, check. Snuggle, check. Kiss, check. Travel, check. Occassionally cook. WHOA. Deal breaker. I haven’t cooked since I killed some lobsters on New Years. I may never cook again.

This feature is based on Mimi Lenox’s Dating Profiles of the Day. Used with permission.

Thank you for dropping by the WTIT Tape Radio Blog today. We will be back next time with our Stealin' feature. It might be just what the doctor ordered! Check that, no doctor would order a anything from this blog. Meanwhile I'll go have a Smirnoff on the rocks, perhaps. We miss Lola, believe it or not. Join us again.
Same time. Same blog.


Linda said...

Uhm, maybe it's just me but I seem to sense a certain amount of hostility in most of these answers, yes?

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

Hi Linda-

If there was, I am not aware of it. But, perhaps I'd be the last to know...